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GOT CLEAN JOKES...add them here!! (MODERATED) If you have a good clean joke to share with us, please add them here, instead of pirating another persons thread. This is a MODERATED forum.

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  #1  
Old 02-13-2009
giderich's Avatar
giderich giderich is offline
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Location: Rolla
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Smile Slow Driver

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State
Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This
driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the
driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies -- two in the
front seat and three in the back - eyes wide and white as ghosts. The driver,
obviously confused, says to him,
"Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems
to be the problem?"

"Ma'am," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but you should know that
driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."
"Slower than the speed limit?" she asked. No sir, I was doing the speed limit
exactly... Twenty-Two miles an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly. The State
Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "22" was the route
number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked
the officer for pointing out her error.

"But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car OK?
These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this
whole time." the officer asks.
"Oh, they'll be alright in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119."
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  #2  
Old 02-15-2009
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isp2952 isp2952 is offline
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Dick,
That was funny but it is almost true. When I was a young Trooper in the early 70s I got a call from one of the DOT people saying that a pink or mauve Caddy just passed by them at a high rate of speed. So, I went south on the interstate and watched for it and sure enough, my radar went off at 115 mph. I looked over and it was a pink Caddy, and I swore it was an old woman driving. I turned and pulled her over and as I suspected it was a woman in her early 70s. I asked her if she had any idea of how fast she was going and she said no. I told her she was going 115 mph. Her response was, "Oh I couldn't have! The speedometer only goes to 85!" At which point I asked her, "How hard were you depressing on the accelerator?" Her reply was, "Oh I had it all the way to the floor." Back then most speedometers only went to about 85 maximum. I guess she was sure that her car wouldn't go any faster than that. Some people just shouldn't be allowed to drive.
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  #3  
Old 02-15-2009
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patticake patticake is offline
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When I was a deputy, some years ago, I came across a simular situation on the
Interstate, except they were in the left lane going 40mph. I could not see the heads of
the occupants. I didn't know if it was a kid or..... I blew the horn several times, no
response, tried the air horn, no response, then several taps of the siren. Finally, a head
appeared from the right seat, turned around and saw me, but no change in speed or
lane. Finally, after repeats calls over the pa, and more taps on the siren,the driver(whom I still couldn't see) started
to slow down and pull towards the median. Again on the pa, they finally got to the
right shoulder and stopped. Turned out to be an elderly couple from Miss., going home.
She could only see through the steering wheel and he was doing everything else from
the right seat.(turn here, speed up,slow down,etc).
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