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GOT CLEAN JOKES...add them here!! (MODERATED) If you have a good clean joke to share with us, please add them here, instead of pirating another persons thread. This is a MODERATED forum.

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  #1  
Old 12-09-2013
Bluebird Bob's Avatar
Bluebird Bob Bluebird Bob is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Somewhere in the West
Posts: 1,350
Default So true

Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

Nothing hurts more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

There is great need for a sarcasm font.

How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

Was learning cursive really necessary?

Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind-of tired.

Bad decisions make good stories.

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.

I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

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Bob Lawrence
84 PT36 6V92
AZ
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  #2  
Old 12-10-2013
isp2952's Avatar
isp2952 isp2952 is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: 1520 N. Binkley Rd., Larwill, IN 46764
Posts: 6,360
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bluebird Bob View Post
Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

Nothing hurts more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

There is great need for a sarcasm font.

How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

Was learning cursive really necessary?

Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind-of tired.

Bad decisions make good stories.

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.

I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

Here is you answer to #5. It works too. I've done it that way for years.
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Jim and Michele Walters
'93 WLWB
Bluebird of Happiness
F397772
2002 Silverado Diesel 2500 HD 4x4
2003 Harley Ultra Classic
260-224-1278
Larwill, IN
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  #3  
Old 12-10-2013
bubblerboy64 bubblerboy64 is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Shippensburg Pa
Posts: 6,839
Default

Some of that really hits home. Good news is WE ARE APPARENTLY NOT ALONE.
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John Heckman
Shippensburg Pa
1987 PT 36
The Bella Mia Sold
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  #4  
Old 12-10-2013
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irmagoo irmagoo is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: washington
Posts: 2,560
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bob
I nerve know you were such a deep thinker.... and entertaining too!!!
mike
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2003 LXI
"Blacktop Gyspy"
even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in awhile
washington Il.
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