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GOT CLEAN JOKES...add them here!! (MODERATED) If you have a good clean joke to share with us, please add them here, instead of pirating another persons thread. This is a MODERATED forum.

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  #1  
Old 03-08-2015
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iamflagman iamflagman is offline
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Default THESE REALLY WORK!!

I checked this out!




AMAZING, SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:




1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.




2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.




3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO SET A TIMER.




4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.




5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES; THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.




6. YOU NEED ONLY TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.




7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.




THOUGHT FOR THE DAY -



SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN THEY'RE PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.
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  #2  
Old 03-08-2015
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Default

Thanks, John. I needed a good chuckle.
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  #3  
Old 03-08-2015
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Me too...lol
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  #4  
Old 03-08-2015
Harold,Cat&Sam Harold,Cat&Sam is online now
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Default

Lol
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Old 03-08-2015
BanjoMan BanjoMan is offline
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What's with that? I laughed my A__ off. The wife barely chuckled.
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Old 03-09-2015
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Default

This added a bunch of stuff to my shopping list.
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  #7  
Old 03-09-2015
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BanjoMan View Post
What's with that? I laughed my A__ off. The wife barely chuckled.
Always douses out your campfire, doesn't it? You rush to show them a REALLY FUNNY item, that has you in stitches, and they look at it, (and you), as if it was written in Swahili!!!!!
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Last edited by catshreds; 03-09-2015 at 10:22 PM.
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