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GOT CLEAN JOKES...add them here!! (MODERATED) If you have a good clean joke to share with us, please add them here, instead of pirating another persons thread. This is a MODERATED forum.

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  #1  
Old 03-05-2016
gcyeaw's Avatar
gcyeaw gcyeaw is offline
Gardner
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ridgewood
Posts: 9,062
Default Business signage

A SIGN IN A SHOE REPAIR STORE IN VANCOUVER THAT READ:
We will heel you
We will save your sole
We will even dye for you.

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”

In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels.”

On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

At an Optometrist's Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for,
You've come to the right place.”

On a Plumber's truck :
"We repair what your husband fixed.”

On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :
"Invite us to your next blowout.”

On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts.”

In a Non-smoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action.”

On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push.”

At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.”

Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”

In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”

At the Electric Company:
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time.
However, if you don't, YOU will be de-lighted.”

In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.”

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait.”

At a Propane Filling Station:
"Thank Heaven for little grills.”

In a Chicago Radiator Shop:
"Best place in town to take a leak.”

And the best one for last…;
Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:
"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"
__________________
Gardner Yeaw
86 PT-36 Golden Memories (sold)
83FC35 SB $IXTEEN TON$ SOLD
78 FC 33 Happinest (Sold)
Ridgewood, New Jersey
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  #2  
Old 03-05-2016
giderich's Avatar
giderich giderich is offline
Birdless
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Rolla
Posts: 3,346
Default

And

AT A WELDING SHOP NEAR COUNCIL BLUFFS, IOWA

"We can weld anything but the crack of dawn, and a broken heart"
__________________
Dick & Patsy Gideon
Former Caretakers of:
1989 FC
1988 WB
1999 43 LXI SINGLE SLIDE
ROLLA MISSOURI 65401

Last edited by giderich; 03-05-2016 at 07:27 PM. Reason: fix'd grammar
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