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GOT CLEAN JOKES...add them here!! (MODERATED) If you have a good clean joke to share with us, please add them here, instead of pirating another persons thread. This is a MODERATED forum.

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  #1  
Old 09-17-2012
Bluebird Bob's Avatar
Bluebird Bob Bluebird Bob is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Somewhere in the West
Posts: 1,373
Default Men Jokes

-----------------------------------------------
. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)
-----------------------------------------------
. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
-----------------------------------------------
. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(don't know.....it never happened)
-----------------------------------------------
One for the ladies.........
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,
'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma .......'

And they say blondes are dumb..
-----------------------------------------------
A couple is lying in bed.
The man says,
'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'
The woman replies,
'I'll miss you.'
--------------------------- --------------------
'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
---------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
-----------------------------------------------
Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him;
And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
-----------------------------------------------
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
----------------------------------------------
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough
-----------------------------------------------
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual..'

-----------------------------------------------
__________________
Bob Lawrence
84 PT36 6V92
Washington
____________
L_T_T_[_____]_
[ l _H3[]OllllllO[]
()_)"'()_)*=*)_)
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  #2  
Old 09-18-2012
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MRPutz MRPutz is offline
Burnin Up in Az. :-)
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Mesa
Posts: 4,198
Default

Hey Bob..

Looks like the wife is using your computer again!
__________________
Michael & Tami Putz
78FC35SB & 83FC35SB Wanderlodge - "Putz'n Around"
'90 GL1500 Goldwing | '67 VW Rail | '82 CJ5 Jeep
eMail=Mike.Putz@cox.net | Web=http://mikeputz.com/
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  #3  
Old 09-19-2012
Bluebird Bob's Avatar
Bluebird Bob Bluebird Bob is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Somewhere in the West
Posts: 1,373
Default

Yeah, snuck by me and got on the forum.....
__________________
Bob Lawrence
84 PT36 6V92
Washington
____________
L_T_T_[_____]_
[ l _H3[]OllllllO[]
()_)"'()_)*=*)_)
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  #4  
Old 09-19-2012
BeeBee BeeBee is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 894
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bluebird Bob View Post
-----------------------------------------------
. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)
-----------------------------------------------
. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
-----------------------------------------------
. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(don't know.....it never happened)
-----------------------------------------------
One for the ladies.........
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,
'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma .......'

And they say blondes are dumb..
-----------------------------------------------
A couple is lying in bed.
The man says,
'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'
The woman replies,
'I'll miss you.'
--------------------------- --------------------
'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
---------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
-----------------------------------------------
Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him;
And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
-----------------------------------------------
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
----------------------------------------------
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough
-----------------------------------------------
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual..'

-----------------------------------------------

I think I likw you!

Thanks!

This was most un-expected. Your title threw me.
__________________
Jennifer & Darrell Snell
Palm Harbor, FL
2000 LXi ME
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