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Under The Awning Here is where you can carry on a conversation, just like............well, like you were sitting under your awning at the campsite.

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  #1  
Old 04-22-2016
Randy Dupree's Avatar
Randy Dupree Randy Dupree is online now
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Default Bedtime stories,the monkey man

I have met some odd people and some cool people in my travels.

Once,while attending a wedding,an outside may wedding in Fl. a man showed up with a baby chimp in his arms.

He stole the wedding,so to speak.
He got more attention than the bride.

Now this guy was older than me,and he looked like Kenny Rogers,the singer.
White hair and all that.
I was thinking "this guy is a real dip%^#$ for bringing a monkey to a wedding,so i went over and told him so.
I told him he was an butthole.
He told me to mind my own business,and then he called me a butthole.
(Well,we both could have used stronger words,but you get the idea.)

So,then he looks me over and asks if he can buy me a beer.
Of course the beer was a keg,provided by the wedding party,so he was not really buying anything,but i took the beer and thats the way i met Joe Naud.

Joe was an animal trainer,he owned 4 chimps,well,5 really,Bubba was still in diapers and an orangutan.( A big red haired monkey,however you spell it).

He had a small house and some strong cages that was his winter quarters in Fl.
He had a traveling show where he did circus acts with the 4 chimps and the Orangutan,Tootsie.

The chimps rode bikes,and even a Honda 70 mini trail while in circus.

But,Joe also did movie work,some of his movies were the Clint Eastwood movies "any which way but loose" and there was 2 more with Clintwood if i remember correctly.
He also did the "Project X" movie,or maybe it was a TV series,i never saw that movie or series,hey,i was busy,i never watched TV.

He also made those calender's with the chimps on them,all dressed up and with funny captions,i'm sure you guys have seen them,years ago.

Anyway,Joe and i became friends and when he was in Fl. we used to go fishing down at Cedar Key Fl.
WE fished the back waters in a canoe.
He was a good fisherman,a very patient man,i guess you had to be to train chimps and Orangatans.

Joe did not take any lip service from anybody,i guess working in Circus and with dangerous animals taught him that.
Everytime we went somewhere something happened,something that was not good for the other person involved.

One morning at a gas station Joe was out of his truck trying to fill it up,the pump would not work and Joe was a little testy.
He went into the store to "talk" to the attendent (2nd trip inside) and while he was inside a couple of punks in a pickup pulled in and grabbed the gas hose,that Joe had already paid to have turned on.
I was sitting in the truck,and a casually commented "i really don't think you want to use that pump".
That old white haired mans not going to like it.
The punk looked at me and laughed,and said something sexual about the "old man" .

I just sat in the truck,i mean what the heck,theres only two of them,no need for me to get out,right?

Well,Joe comes walking up and a little discussion went down.
The punks got tough,but after about 2 seconds they were both pleading with Joe to let them go.
They even ended up buying Joes gas,just so he would let them go.

I was still calmly sitting in the truck.

Joe got in and away we went,he never mentioned it,i guess it was just another day working with animals.

He was an interesting man,he would call us up in the morning,saying he was on the way over with donuts,to make coffee.
He would show up with Bubba,the baby chimp and we all would sit at the table and drink coffee and donuts,even little Bubba drank coffee and dunked his donut in,just like Joe.

Joe and Bette,his wife,always had little Bubba with them,just like he was a human baby,he wore a diaper,and had to be taught just like a kid.
Baby chimps were worth about $30k each,back then,and Joe raised them all the time.
The babys had to become used to people,so they went shopping,and everything.

Tootsie,the Orangatan,was a huge money maker,he had this park bench that he set up at county fairs and at the circus.
Tootsie was the Clintwood "any which way "star.
So,he had a polaroid camera setup to look like an old time camera,and Tootsie would sit on the bench and you got your pic taken sitting next to Tootsie.
$10 per pic,a simple Polaroid picture.
But,the funny part was Tootsie has a sense of humor,she was also a he.
So,women would sit next to tootsie,and Tootsie would slide right up next to the lady and put his arm around the ladys shoulder,and then cup her breast with his huge hands,the wifes face would go white,and Joe would take the picture!

Then,when the man sits down,Tootsie would slide right over,put his arm over the mans shoulder,and reach way down and if the man was wearing short,pull the mans leg hair!
The man would gasp,and Joe would take the picture.
Perfect timing,everytime!

The dang Tootsie was smart,and had arms 6 feet long,and huge hands and feet,made to climb trees and never come down.
Joe would ask Tootsie to kiss you on the right cheek,and he did.
Then,kiss you on the left cheek,and he did.
Then depending on the person,man or women,he would say,"kiss him on the mouth!"
Tootsie would open his mouth wide open,right in your face,all you can see is those ugly teeth Orangs have,and then he would kiss,you,right in the mouth!
IF,you were a women.

If you were a man,he would tell Tootsie to bite your testicles off!

Let me tell you,your heart would stop right about then!
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  #2  
Old 04-22-2016
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You need o be writing a book. Sign me up for one.
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  #3  
Old 04-22-2016
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Randy Dupree Randy Dupree is online now
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So,one day we go fishing,Joe had this black guy that was doing some work for him,the guy was from Chicago and he had never been in the south.
We are fishing off of an oyster bar and a horseshoe crab was crawling aling the bottom,in shallow water.
Joe asked the guy to hand him that "rock",the guy reaches into the water and grabs the crab,and picks it up.

Whats the first thing you do when you pickup a rock?
You look at the bottom.
And he did.
The bottom had a hundred legs,all going wild!
That dude dropped the rock and got in the boat,and stayed away from the sides.
He was scared to death.
WE took him home and we never saw him again.
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  #4  
Old 04-22-2016
Harold,Cat&Sam Harold,Cat&Sam is online now
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Lol , twice
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  #5  
Old 04-22-2016
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Randy Dupree Randy Dupree is online now
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Joe was also into snakes.
As far as i'm concerned,theres 2 kinds of snakes.
Hat Bands and Belts.

But,he loved them.
And he bought and sold exotic snakes and shipped them all over the country.
He fed them,then put them in a plain old box,and shipped them by UPS.
Nothing on the box saying "snakes on board " or anything...
He crumpled up a bunch of newspaper and stuffed it all in the box..
That gives me chills!
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  #6  
Old 04-22-2016
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"But,Joe also did movie work,some of his movies were the Clint Eastwood movies "any which way but loose" and there was 2 more with Clintwood if i remember correctly."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i98QrSSHxo4
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  #7  
Old 04-22-2016
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Clyde was Tootsie.
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Old 04-22-2016
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Gotta post one more Clyde/Tootsie!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EwlPzIhDEdM
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  #9  
Old 04-22-2016
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Randy Dupree Randy Dupree is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chap View Post
Gotta post one more Clyde/Tootsie!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EwlPzIhDEdM
Tootsie was way cool.
But,you really didnt want to french kiss her.
Joe taught her/him to french kiss,by putting candy in his mouth,and giving it to her in a kiss.
So,hes sticking his tongue in your mouth looking for gummy bears,meanwhile your wetting your pants,afraid to breath.

But,you should see chimps ride a motorcycle.
The chimps are big,i mean BIG.
And they rode a Honda 70 Mini trial,(the bike is at the circus museum in Peru Id.,along with the bikes).
So,Joe has 10 acres,or maybe 5,anyway,the dang chimps would get on the Honda and all they knew was wide open.
They did not get the whole stop,braking thing.
Here they go,2 chimps,wide open across the yard,heading straight for a fence or tree.
Ohh,they don't get the turn thing either.
But,they do get the JUMP thing,they get it real well!

So,at WOT they are heading for a fence,just before they hit the fence they both jump straight up in the air,like big coil springs.
They come down so graceful,and land on their feet.
The bike hits the fence at speed.
The chimps are trained to just sit and wait.
Joe (not me) goes over,gets the bike and the chimps and walks back.
The chimp carries the bike under its arm like a loaf of bread.
They do have long arms!

In the circus ring,they have chains around their neck,hooked to a pole in the center of the ring,they know they have to turn when the chain gets tight,so they go in a circle,WOT.
Crazy...

Joe had a heart attack in the ring,the ring master knew something was wrong,as Joe walked over to his wagon,and crouched down.
Bette knew something was going down,and she had to get the animals in the wagon before they figured out the Alpha male was down.
The chimps were confused,the act was not over.
The ring master and Bette held hands and bowed,and they grabbed Joe and the wagon and hustled off stage.
Joe died back stage.

The animals were sold,and Bette gave me the props and all that costumes etc.
I had no idea what to do with all that stuff,bikes,motor cycle,costumes.

One day the Circus museum called and asked to buy it all.
I gave it all to them,and its all on display at the museum in Peru Id.
I even delivered the stuff up there to them.

Theres more stories about Joe.
Ohh,one thing i kept was the circus wagon,one side of it is screwed to the wall in my office.
It has a picture of Tootsie painted on it.
Some of you may have seen it.
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  #10  
Old 04-30-2016
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Randy Dupree Randy Dupree is online now
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So,Joe had a daughter,Jan.
Jan needed work and i hired her to do odds and ends,she was good in the shop,she could run the plasma cutter and the Burgmaster turret drill press we used to make valve parts.
She was a quick learner and pretty soon she was doing all the UPS stuff and taking orders and best of all,she did the shop house keeping.
She hated to sweep,so we put in a central vac system and she kept the place clean as a pin.
If we ran out of work she would ask if she could go in the house and vacuum,why yes!
Please do!

Jan only had one problem.
After a year,a year to the day,she would quit.
I have no idea why,buy she did.
She may come back in a year,but she would never work one day longer than 365 days.

So,sure enough,after a year (second time around) she quit and moved to Tijaris NM.
Tijaris is just east on Al. NM,a small town in the mountains and she went to work at a wildlife rescue place.
After all,she grew up with anaimals ans even has a circus act of her own for a few years.
She had 3 Baboons and a big black panther too.

So,Carol and i were on the road and decided to go see Jan.
We had no phone number,no address for her,but she lived in a small town and she had baboons,how hard can it be to find her?

All we had to do was go to the feed store and ask for Jan,the chick that buys monkey chow.
Hey,its a small town.

So,we go to town,and sure enough we find a feed store,we can't get the bird into the parking lot so i parked along the street.
I walk int the feed store and theres 3 big boys sitting on hay bales.
They look me over,then they look out the window at the Bird.
They don't say anything,so i start out by asking if they know Jan,this black haired chick with 3 baboons.
So,they just sit and look at me.
So,i tell them she has this big black panther too.
And i ask if they sell monkey chow.

They say nope,no monkey chow.
Then one of the big boys walks over to where i'm sitting on a hay bale.
He says "stand up".
I stand up.

He says "take your shirt off"
I say "what"?
He says "take your shirt off"
So,i take my shirt off,and he looks at the other guys,they are staring at me.

I ask them what the heck is going on?
They tell me they think i was with Candid Camera,the TV show.
They say nobody would ever come in with a story like that and it be the truth!

I'm laughing my pants off,Candid camera,are you kidding me?!
hahahahaha!

We all have a good laugh,and then they tell me theres another feed store in town,and they called them up and sure enough,they knew Jan and i got a phone number for her!

So,we call Jan up,and ask her out to dinner.
She says yes,and we decide to drive to Santa Fe for dinner,its not too far and we end up on a roof top cafe eating mex food.
The place is packed and we are having drinks and talking and Jan talks almost as loud as i do.
WE asked her about Joe (this was before he passed away) and shes telling us that Joe and Bette have a new baby and they have it sold for $30,000.
All of a sudden we realize the place has gotten real quiet and everybody is staring at us.
Then,i figure out whats going on,they all think Joe and Bette have a human baby for sale,not a baby chimp!
So,we explain what they do for a living and ever so slowly they place gets back to normal...
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www.buybyebluebird.com

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